Well, good morning, everyone. Hello, WashU, how is everyone doing?
Let me start with the most important words I can say today: Congratulations to the distinguished graduates of the great Class of 20xx.
I’d like to welcome everyone here – and Chancellor Wrighton for extending the invitation. I’ve known the chancellor for more than a decade, and I want to congratulate him for everything he has done to both transform this campus and raise academic standards.
If there are…if there are any older alumni present, be glad you applied back when you did. I can just tell you that certainly I would not have gotten into WashU today. For the record, I was the kind of student who always made the top half of the class possible.
Graduates, it’s a great honor to be your Commencement speaker. I accept the fact that I wasn’t your first choice. But unfortunately, T-Pain couldn’t make it. Mandatory vocal rest, he said. Actually, that’s the same reason I didn’t go out last night and sing karaoke at T’s.
Today’s a beautiful day. But this is St. Louis, and so before leaving my hotel this morning, I also packed a winter parka.
I drove over here, and I was lucky: I found a very convenient parking space – on West Campus – so I took the shuttle over. It was worth it. What an amazing place this is. Where else could I see the bunny? And the DUC.
Still, I was disappointed that, in all my walking around, I did not get to see the school’s most famous icon: Ninja Turtle Backpack Guy. Demetri, way to dance to your own beat.
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